The Critter Radio Sports Update

HNWR Painted Turtle_6615 aHey, hey, hey sports fans! This is Shelly Zuppa with your sports update here on KRTR 99.9 FM – Critter Radio. Today we have a real treat for all you sports fans – live coverage of yesterday’s hotly contested Herp Swamp Hockey match. Nothing like the timely coverage you’ll get here on Critter Radio! Let’s throw it over to our play-by-play announcer.

Hi, folks, I’m Myrtle Turtle the Dapper Snapper, and welcome to the Marsh Arena. For the Herp Swamp Hockey novices out there, let’s review the game. The league is restricted to herps – reptiles and amphibians, in other words. No fish, no fowl. No rules, no referees, no holds barred. Four teams for all the marbles, competing on land and in water.

HNWR_5624 a Looks like we’re all set for the match to start. The crowd is trembling with anticipation…

HNWR_9701 a…as their favorite players from the Tinicum Turtles take the field.

CM Higbee Beach_9885 aRight off the bat, the Higbee Beach Fence Lizards take the offensive by going on defense. These guys would lead the league if the game were Freeze Tag. At the first whiff of an opponent, they become motionless. “If I don’t move – you can’t see me!” is their battle cry.

HNWR Snake_7379 ACSThe strategy must have worked, because we can see they’ve got this Garter Snake player from Serpents United on the rocks.

HNWR Bullfrog_7722 ASMeanwhile, this American Bullfrog is mired deep in his own zone. Maybe water polo is more his game.

HNWR Tadpoles_5187 aHalftime entertainment keeps to the water with a nice display of synchronized swimming by three baby fish. Yes, folks, there’s nothing we Snapping Turtles like better than a good fish fry. Or three…

Tinicum_6389 Alt 2 AS OrigBack to the action, these Painted Turtles from Heinz seem to have been benched. The Tinicum Turtles try to overwhelm other teams with sheer numbers, but spend most of the game sunning themselves on the sidelines. It’s enough to make a fellow turtle weep.

CM Higbee Beach_9945 aWait, folks, what’s this… There’s a Spider Crab on the field and creeping away with the ball… Oh my gosh, we have a streaker! Don’t look, Ethel!

CMPSP Snake_9767 aThe Cape May fan contingent is not happy with this turn of events, as a Ribbon Snake shows his displeasure.

HNWR_2233 aWith time running out, Serpents United have taken a risky strategy by sending a Garter Snake player deep into the opposition’s Thistle to try to score. It’s a highly unusual place for a snake – but…

CM Higbee Beach_9942 aYES! He scores!

GOOOOOAL!

And the Serpents take the match!

Well, folks, it’s all over but the shouting. This Horseshoe Crab spectator seems overwhelmed with emotion. What an exciting game!

The rematch is bound to be a barn-burner. Be sure to tune in again to catch all the action right here on KRTR Critter Radio.

Blimp_3787 a copyI’m Myrtle Turtle the Dapper Snapper from the Marsh Arena – good night!

Aerial coverage provided by the Goodyear Blimp.

FUN FACT: Most crabs that walk on land do so sideways, but the Spider Crab usually goes forward. It’s particularly fond of draping itself with all sorts of adornments, including living sea plants, bits of shell and other oddities. Presumably this is for concealment, but maybe the crab’s just really fashion forward!

Coming up: Independence Day: Wissahickon Wanderings

Wee Furry Beasties

4 HNWR Muskrat_8941 ASGood morning, all you bonny lads and lassies out there in Animal Kingdom! This is the “Wee Furry Beasties” Countdown Show on 99.9 KRTR – Critter Radio! I’m your host Fergus Alastair MacRatt, comin’ at you with all the warm and fuzzy hits you need to get you through your day.

Let’s get right to the countdown, shall we? Kicking it off at Number Six, we have the King of Nibbles himself, Brer Rabbit, with his hare-raisin’ version of “Little Bunny Foo Foo”.Rabbit 2 Vertical

HNWR Groundhog_2990 aHere’s a fair Groundhog lassie and her wee bairn that just can’t resist the call of the open highway. At Number Five, it’s Big Mama Woodchuck and Whistlepig Junior, singing “On the Road Again”.HNWR Groundhog_5585 AS

Next we have Slinky Mink checkin’ in from Michigan’s Big Sable River. Look at that pink nose – this lad needs some sunscreen! Doesn’t stop him from rockin’ out with our Number Four hit, “Pop! Goes The Weasel”.LSP 3 Mink_8666 ac

My, it’s early in the day for this yawnin’ Raccoon! Our next performer, Little Rascal, had a bit of a nap, but he’s awake now, and swingin’ in the Number Three spot with “Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree”.HNWR_5757 ACS

Now, we all know how chipmunks love to stuff their little furry faces with good eats. Everybody’s favorite Chipmunk, Alvin, reckons he likes dancin’ with the lassies even more. In at Number Two, here he is now with “Cheek To Cheek”.LSP Big Sable 3 Trail_8169 crop ACS Orig

Ah, savin’ the best for last! You know, we Muskrats get a bad rap sometimes, but really we’re just rockin’ along, tryin’ to get along. 4HNWR Muskrat_8917 ANobody says it better than Susie & Sam with our Number One hit, “Muskrat Love”.

Well, that’s it folks, this week’s “Wee Furry Beasties” Countdown.

Next up on “Forest Follies”, we have a mind-boggling tale of three foolish humans (and really, is there any other kind?) Aye, seems they set out one evening to track down a ferocious varmint, and got a wee bit more than they bargained for.

Until then, I’m Fergus Alastair MacRatt, keepin’ it wild on 99.9 KRTR – Critter Radio!CMPSP Muskrat_9717 acs 2